Star Yecch! Wars Part 6

Meanwhile, back at the cavern, the cloaked figure approached Luke and Input. Pulling back his cowl, he revealed himself to Luke and smiled.

LUK: Who,...who,..
BEN: My word, you've become an owl!
IPT: Please identify yourself, sir. Are you one of Luke's "raiders?"
LUK: Yeah,...and speaking of them,...what happened to the rest of your gang?
BEN: I no longer have much of a "gang." The "Get-High" Knights' ranks grow thinner everyday.
LUK: Get-High Knights? That would make you,..Ben Cannoli! Input, he's no raider, he's a legend!
BEN: I'm afraid they weren't raiders, young Luke Spaceskipper.
LUK: You know my name?
BEN: I know may things, Luke. But I do not know what you possess that has brought the wrath of Vader's First Legion.
LUK: Vad,..Vader? Lord Deaf Vader's after me? Why? What did I do?
IPT: Perhaps a more pressing question is what happened to those troops?
BEN : I,..eliminated their threat.
LUK: Gosh, you saved our lives! What can I repay you with?
BEN: It's OK, Luke. You "Owe me one."

Before Luke and company had time to sort things out, Barf and the security detail stormed into the cave, phasers, drawn. Input moved quickly to head them off.

IPT: Barf, please st-stand down. These people are, are not a threat.
BRF: Input, are you well?
IPT: I am functioning within established parameters, Barf. Is the ship safe?
BRF: Yes, why do you ask?

Input relayed his story to Barf. After making the perfunctory greetings with Luke and Ben, the group began to head back to Updike's site. Luke and one of the security guards began to lift the smaller droid when they slipped, dropping the droid back to the floor of the cave. The droid whirred to life and began to project the Princess' visual playback on the wall of the cave. The video and audio were scratchy and appeared to be in auto-rewind mode. Ben cleared his throat.

BEN: Oh, my, this is troubling.
LUK: What is it? Do you know her?
BEN: I,...know her father. He is,..or was, an old friend. I have been sensing a disturbance in the air.
BRF: Forgive me, Ben. It is the quadrotriticale in my diet.
BEN: Not that disturbance, Mr. Barf.
LUK: Nevermind, Barf. What,..what's this all about, Ben?
BEN: Luke, there is something you should know about me. Like myself, the King was a member of the Knighthood,...and an active participant in the Resistance. This "message" means that he is dead and the Emperor has moved ahead with his plans.
LUK: The Knighthood? The Resistance? Right here on Ratt-a-Tattoouine?
IPT: What is this "Knighthood?"
LUK: I thought it was only a legend....
BEN: No, Young Luke, not a legend. We have moved about in secrecy since the Emperor disposed of the Libertarian Senate when the Senate attempted to disband the Imperial Revenue Service.
LUK: But,...but my Uncle Tom says you're nothing but a low-life drug runner.
BEN: (sighing) Yes, Luke, we Get-High Knights did profit from the drug trade. However, those profits have been used to purchase aid for the Resistance for years.

Luke walked off, collecting his thoughts. Barf moved towards the cave's entrance, then quickly returned.

BRF: We must move on. The Boobyprize's sensors are detecting a large fleet of ships moving this way. Commander Updike, in a typical move to save his own ass, has already returned.
IPT: Affirmative. We should beam these droids up as well. With Georgi's help, their memory chips should yield any additional information.

As the troops made preparations for the return, Ben informed Input that he and Luke would remain behind and return to Luke's family.

IPT: We shall return as soon as safety permits, Ben.
BEN: Very well, Mr. Input. May the,..Guidance be with you.

With that, the groups parted company. Ben and Luke reclaimed what they could from Luke's skimmer and transferred it to Ben's older land carriage and slowly made their way out of the valley. "How am I going to explain this to Uncle Tom?" was the foremost problem occupying Luke's thoughts as they made the trek over the featureless desert. His mood lightened when his home came into view on the horizon.

Suddenly, a force of dark Imperial X-File fighters swooped over them and past the dune horizon. In their wake, a flaming mushroom cloud arose.

LUK: Holy shit, Ben! X-File fighters! What did they hit?
BEN: I do not know, Luke. But let's move one; the truth is out there.

And indeed, the truth was revealed as they crested the next dune. Luke's heart sank as he saw what was left of his Uncle Tom's cabin. Before Ben could bring the land carriage to a stop, Luke leapt out, running towards the ruins.

LUK: Uncle Tom!! Aunt Eetah!! Anybody??

Ben rushed forward, tackling Luke into the sandy brush.

BEN: Luke! Be quiet, you fool!
LUK: What?? Why,...why them??
BEN: I do not know, Luke, but something tells me that message has far more dire consequences than I already presumed. We must get you out of harm's way.
LUK: How?
BEN: We'll contact your space friends and get you aboard their ship.
LUK: But what if Vader's troops already go to them?

Back on the Boobyprize, Dildeaux greeted the Away Team as they entered the bridge. The bridge crew was in high gear, making several evasive maneuvers to shake the pursuing Imperial fighters. After several stomach-wrenching minutes, Input gave the all clear.

IPT: Captain, the fighters have broken off their pursuit.
DLD: Very good. Number Two, all clear from red Alert. Continue Yellow Alert status, then get the Away Team back in my ready room. We need to have a serious discussion about our situation.