Deep Shit 69 - Chapter 4-3

Meanwhile, back at the interstellar ballfield, Krisko was still trying to get to first base with Marla. They walked together, admiring the scenery.

KRS: Wow! This is some field.
MLA: And some corn.
KRS: Some grass.
MLA: Some trees.
KRS: Some dew.
MLA: I don't.
KRS: You did when you were alive! You wanted to start such a big family.
MLA: You must,...reproduce yourselves? Why?
KRS: Humans have a limited existence. We are born, grow to maturity, then we expire.
MLA: How do you reproduce? You must explain this to me.
KRS: I think a visual, hands-on approach would be more,...enlightening.

After Krisko's "hands-on" demonstration, he awoke to smell food cooking. He was no longer in the field, but in his home back on Earth. He entered the kitchen area to find Marla preparing a meal.

MLA: Our research indicates that your species requires sustenance. I have prepared some food for you, Ben.
KRS: Is that duck a l'orange I smell cooking?
MLA: Yes, Ben.
KRS: I haven't had duck for ages! Oh, how I miss that fowl taste in my mouth!

As the twosome sat down for dinner, the Marines arrived to cook some Hardassian goose.

MOB: Major, you're being hailed by the commander, Deflated.
KPR: Put him on the screen, Miles.
MOB: Aye, ma'am.

The image on the screen was of a surprisingly young man. He had a look of grave consternation as he addressed the station.

MPT: Major Keepyer, I'm Colonel Frederick Moppett-DeFleur, commander of the 12th Martian Division.
KPR: Glad to have your assistance, Colonel.
MPT: I'll be beaming aboard momentarily, Major. My troops will begin taking up positions around this gasshole of yours. Just how stable is it?
KPR: My science officer's original estimates called for a shutdown about fifteen minutes ago, but for some reason, it's holding.
MPT: Very good, I,...
JST: Major, the Hardassians want a word with you about this.
KPR: Tell them I have a word for them: G'Herk! (Hardassians for "F*** you!")

Before Justa could deliver the message, Gul Droppings broke into the screen display, facing side-by-side with the Marine colonel.

DRP: Major, you must protest,...I must protest! What is a contingent of Federation Marines doing here? I don't recall this area being declared a hostile zone!
KPR: It wasn't a hostile zone until you arrived, Droppings!
MPT: We're here to keep you Hardies in line!
DRP: By surrounding us in the gasshole,...I mean, surrounding the gasshole?
MPT: Our treaty with the Majorans stipulates armed force to prevent foreign incursion until the Provisional government gets its act together.
DRP: But the gasshole is an open claim,..until Krisko returns.
MPT: And until then, you keep your slimy fingers out of our hole!

The colonel moved to drop the Hardassians from the screen. He smirked as he addressed Major Keepyer.

MPT: I'd like to come aboard and go over the finer details of this operation, Major.
KPR: Why,...of course, Colonel. Permission granted.
MPT: Very good. Prepare for beaming.

Moments later, the whine of a transporter beam brought the colonel and several aides-de-camp. The colonel moved to introduce his team.

MPT: Major, this is my executive officer, Captain Oedipus Recks.
KPR: Nice name, Captain.
MPT: I loved my mother very much.
KPR: But you...you're a clone. You don't have a mother!
MPT: Uh,...a little joke from the boys at PsyCorps. Every clone is fitted with a personality profile.
KPR: I see.
MPT: And this is my legal advisor, Lt. Commander Donnie Brooke.

The group made perfunctory greetings before the Major briefed the Marines and DS 69 officers. Back at the gasshole, Krisko continued an intellectual exchange with the GONADs.

KRS: A pitcher throws the ball to the batter and the batter attempts to hit the ball and score. Now do you get it?
MLA: I believe it would be better to know the outcome in advance.
KRS: But that's part of the fun! By not knowing what will happen next, it presents a challenge! Humans crave challenges. That's why we came to this hole. It's why we explore all of space.
MLA: Your people have many concepts foreign to us, but you intrigue the GONADs.
KRS: Thank you, Marla, but I am still curious. What lies beyond this place? Where does the gasshole end?
MLA: Your "probe" will return to you in due time, Ben. Now, you too, must return to your people. The GONADs will allow safe passage to your people through the gasshole.
KRS: Why?
MLA: It shall give the GONADs a chance to further observe you.
KRS: I'll miss you, Marla.
MLA: I shall always be here, Ben. I have always been here.
KRS: How,..how do I explain you to the Majorans?
MLA: The Majorans have chosen you as their Emissary. Tell them what the faithful will believe of us.
KRS: I will. Goodbye, Marla.

With a reluctant embrace, Krisko returned to the runabout and set course back to the station.

What will happen to Krisko when he returns? What about Captain Recks? Does he really have a mother to love? Do you love your mother? Stay tuned, Yekkers, I have to consult with Sigmund Freud before Chapter V!