Deep Shit 69 - Chapter 8-2

As the Deflated docked, a crowd gathered around the exit. When the Marines, followed by Justa, O'Brother and finally Krisko exited, cheers rang through the station and people were wishing them welcome. All, except for Major Keepyer and her fellow Majorans, who greeted Krisko with solemn reverence.

KRS: So,...news of Impala's passing has already made it here?
KPR: Yes. The Congress of Holiness has announced that you are to pick the next Kai. Is it true?
KRS: According to the GONADs, yes.
KPR: The what???
KRS: The GO,...I'll brief you later on this, Major.
KPR: Please do, Commander. But have you made a choice?
KRS: The,...GONADs,...what your people have been calling the Prophets, have given me several choices.

With that pronouncement, Major Keepyer promptly dropped to her knees and prostrated before Krisko, who appeared ill-at-ease by all this attention.

KRS: Major!! Stand up and behave like an officer!
KPR: Aye, sir. May I ask if the Reverend Mother is one of the choices?
KRS: You mean Mother Mayii?
KPR: Yes, Ben.
KRS: Frankly, Keepyer, I think I need to consult with Starfleet Command regarding my position and the Prime Directive. Now, if you'll excuse me.
KPR: (sighing) Yes, sir.

As the somewhat joyous crowd milled about, Quirk made his way over to the pair and interrupted them.

QRK: Commander! Welcome home! I never thought anybody could worm their way out of Hardassian justice!
KRS: I had...a little help, Quirk. Now, if you'll excuse me,...
QRK: Of course! Freshen up! I've planned a "Welcome Home" party at my place for all of you! 1900 hours-sharp!
KRS: Quirk, you didn't have to do this.
QRK: Don't worry, Commander. I'm sending the bill to Starfleet.

Before Krisko could further protest, Quirk disappeared back into the crowd. Krisko excused himself and made his way back to his quarters, hoping to find his son. His absence at Krisko's arrival was a point of concern to the commander.

KRS: Jerk? Son, I'm home!
JER: Al,..Alright, Dad! I'll,..I'll be right out!

Jerk sounded breathless. Concerned, Krisko approached his son's room. Before he could open the door, Jerk greeted him. He was sweating and barely clothed. When Krisko looked over Jerk's shoulder, he saw a voluptuous Majoran girl in his bed, lying underneath Jerk's covers.

KRS: Jerk??
JER: Uh, Dad, you're home!
KRS: (icily) Yes, Jerk. I managed not to get hanged. I hope that doesn't interrupt your little tete-a-tete?
JER: No,..no,.Dad! I'm glad you're home. Now you can meet my girlfriend, S'Marti Panz.
KRS: Your,...girlfriend?
JER: You remember, Dad? The girl I met at Quirk's Place? The one with "the big dabos?"
KRS: Oh,..her. Well, I had other things on my mind when we last spoke.

As Krisko and his son made their way over to the living room, S'Marti Panz got dressed in a short blue skirt and joined them.

SMR: I,...I better leave you two alone.
JER: I'll see you later, OK?
SMR: OK. At the dom-jot tables?
JER: Ummmm,....
KRS: You play dom-jot???
JER: Well, I...
SMR: Are you, like, kidding? He's hustled the shit outta everyone at Quirk's!
KRS: Jerk, you and I have a lot to go over.
JER: Yeah, dad.

In the awkward silence that ensued, S'Marti left the apartment. Jerk noticed his father's gaze following her out the door.

JER: Ahem,...
KRS: You're right, Jerk. She does have a nice set of "dabos."
JER: Thanks, Dad.
KRS: Now, lets talk about my son, the hustler.

As the twosome spent some quality time together, Quirk's party gained momentum. Major Keepyer, having suitably grieved for the Kai, joined the festivities. She made her way over to the Marine contingent and struck up a conversation with Colonel Moppett-DeFleur.

KPR: So, Colonel, how do you think General Motars feels about your division's execution?
MPT: I'm sure he's completely in favor of it.
KPR: Really? Tell me more, Colonel.

As the two commanders discussed military tactics, Dr. Bashful managed to work Justa Broad into a corner at Quirk's and put the moves on her. Justa, however, attempted to put the brakes on him.

BSH: So, uh, Justa,..I guess you're glad to be back home?
JST: Sure. For awhile there, I really thought this would be the end of the Broad-Street line.
BSH: Pattison or Fern Rock?
JST: Excuse me?
BSH: Nothing. Inside joke. Anyway, I guess a lot of things went through your mind,..when it got close.
JST: Sure. That's a basic instinct in all people, I guess.
BSH: How about thoughts of me?
JST: In,..what way, Julius?
BSH: You and me,..a holosuite,..the beaches of Oceanus III,...
JST: Get real, Julius! I may have a woman's body now, but I still have Notta Broad's libido! Damn, look at the dom-jot table! That Majoran girl in the blue skirt's got one set of "dabos" on her!

As Julius stood, jaw-to-the-floor, Justa walked over to the dom-jot tables. As her stared after her, a waiter proffered him some food.

WTR: Scrod?
BSH: Royally.

Having refreshed himself, Commander Krisko entered Quirk's. Immediately, all festivities stopped and a round of applause filled the room.

As Krisko worked his way through the crowd, accepting the plaudits of the station's crew and residents alike, he spotted the spirit of Marla off in a corner. She beckoned him and he worked his way over to her.

MLA: Ben, you must make a choice.
KRS: But,...I,..can't! Not now! The ramifications of this are too great!
MLA: But, Ben,..Ben,...Ben,...

Krisko suddenly awoke and found himself lying on an unfamiliar bed with Marla shaking him.

KRS: Marla,..where are we? In the gasshole?
MLA: The what?
KRS: The gasshole. Near Deep Shit 69.
MLA: Deep Shit 69?? You mean Deep Ship's Station 9?
KRS: No, no, no. DS 69,..near the Majoran homeworld. The one we got from the Hardassians!
MLA: The hard...don't even mention them again! Ugh! They send shivers down my spine. If we ever go to war with them, they'll kick our asses all the way back to Vulcan! And who are these Majorans?
KRS: Marla, dear, I know this is going to sound really stupid, but...where am I? And where's Jerk?
MLA: You're home, in our apartment in 'Frisco. Jerk's asleep in his crib. And if you don't get you fat, black ass outta that bed, you gonna be late for your first day in you new assignment!
KRS: You mean DS 69?
MLA: Jeez, you really hit that Romulan ale good last night, didn't you?
KRS: Oh, God. I'm beginning to get a real hangover. Are you telling me...

MLA: Yes, dear. It was just a dream. It was all just a bad dream.

Spinning out in space,
Forever out of time,
I really can't keep pace,
With the ghastly rhyme.

THE END


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