Deep Shit 69 - Chapter 7-1
STAR YECCH! DEEP SHIT 69
CHAPTER VII - NO NOOSE IS GOOD NOOSE,...
OR, HOLY SHIT, I'M RUNNING OUT OF SECONDARY TITLES
CHAPTER VII - NO NOOSE IS GOOD NOOSE,...
OR, HOLY SHIT, I'M RUNNING OUT OF SECONDARY TITLES
SHIP'S STATION LOG, STARDATE 9501.11: Dr. Julius Bashful, reporting. I have placed Major Keepyer on medical leave while she is treated for "Al Haig Syndrome," brought on by the prolonged stress of Commander Krisko's abduction.
In the courtroom of Mediator Shapiro, the case against Commander Krisko droned on.
SHP: Will the spectators stop droning! It's giving me a headache! There will be silence in this hall!
WNG: If it pleases the court, I would like to bring forth as my final witness, Gul Lattrek.
Gul Wingh's announcement was enough to stop the droning of the crowd. Gul Lattrek entered the hall with a grand flourish and was seated in the confessor's box. Gul Wingh addressed him.
WNG: For the record, Gul Lattrek, you interviewed the accused several times?
LTK: Yes, I did.
WNG: At what point did Commander Krisko confess?
LTK: The human never did confess, I'm afraid. Like most of his kind, he fears facing the retribution of his actions.
IBL: I object, your honor. My client is trained to withhold information considered vital to his superiors.
SHP: Your objection is noted but overruled! Gul Wingh, you may proceed.
LTK: If I may, your honor,...I offered Commander Krisko immunity from a court-martial by his superiors, but he rejected the deal.
WNG: With that, your honor, I have no further evidence to present.
SHP: Gul Ibble, do you have anything to say for your client?
IBL: I renew my petition for clemency on my client's behalf, your honor.
SHP: Your petition is again denied, Ibble! I, therefore, pronounce Commander Benjamin Krisko guilty of all charges and sentence him to die by hanging with the falling of the first and second moons.
Gul Ibble turned to the stoic-faced Commander and shrugged. As guards hustled Krisko back to his cell, he called over to his counsel.
KRS: Someone see if Samuel T. Cogley is still alive! If he is, retain him for my appeal!
IBL: Appeal? Not in Hardassian justice, my friend!
As they witnessed the three-ringed circus ending, Justa Broad and Miles O'Brother signaled back to the Marines. Since the trial ended quicker than expected, the insertion team would now have to make a rescue attempt at the execution site.
On the station, the video stream ended. A mixture of sorrow and anger filled the Ops room. Major Keepyer, after venting her own frustration, called for a clean up of the remnants of the sorrow/anger mixture, which was beginning to stain the carpets.
KPR: Dammit all to hell!! Where are Justa and Miles?
ODO: perhaps there's still time, Keepyer.
KPR: How much time, Odor? This is all going too fast!
ODO: If you ever had faith in the Prophets, now would be a good time to call it in. Don't you remember being a member of the Resistance? "Always have a Plan B," you used to tell me!
KPR: What's your point, Odor?
ODO: I don't know, Keepyer. It just sounded inspirational.
In his cell, Krisko pondered his now-limited future. As a show of good will on his captors' behalf, they permitted him to make contact with his family. After going through several delays, Krisko's viewscreen filled with the face of his son, Jerk.
JER: Dad? Is it true, they're going to hang you for going into the gasshole?
KRS: I'm afraid the Hardassians will try, son. But I want you to be brave about all of this.
JER: I'm trying, Dad. The guys on the station are really looking out for me.
KRS: (Sighing) I'm glad to hear that, Jerk.
JER: Yeah! And I even met a girl down at Quirk's Place!
KRS: Jerk,...I warned you about him! What kind of girl did you meet at his bar?
JER: A Dabo girl, Dad. Her name's S'Marti Panz.
KRS: A Dabo girl??? What,...what attracted you to someone like her?
JER: Dad,...you oughtta see the size of her dabos!
KRS: Uh, yeah. (Taking a deep breath) You know, Jerk, physical appearance shouldn't be your only guide to love.
JER: Yeah, I know,...but she writes poetry and she's hoping to go back to school on Majora once things settle down.
KRS: Nevertheless, Jerk, watch yourself.
JER: Aw, Dad, would you lighten up! I've already had a rotten day!
KRS: I'm sorry this trial has upset you, but,...
JER: I'm not even talking about that! When I got up this morning, my "Krispies" cereal started talking back when I poured on the lactose additive.
KRS: I think you should see Dr. Bashful about this delusional behavior, Jerk.
JER: Seriously, Dad! They said "Snap! Crackle! F**k you!" So I threw them back at the replicator!
KRS: Oh, no...my son: "The Cereal Killer!"
JER: Well,...Dad, my time's running out. So,.......I hope you get out of this!
KRS: I hope so, too, Jerk.
Wearily, Krisko turned away from the viewscreen.
Meanwhile, the Federation team regrouped at the Vulcan consulate. Justa conferred with Spick and Spann, the Vulcan strategists who helped clean up several of the Marines' past covert operations. O'Brother convened with Petty Officer Brooke and his insertion team, going over the layout of the execution site. Both Starfleet officers then reported back to the Deflated over subspace channels.
JST: As you know, Colonel, the trial went much quicker than we anticipated. They're getting the gallows ready as we speak.
MPT: Yes, Lieutenant Broad, we caught the Empire's video feed. All that court needed was a ring-master! Have you made any progress with our back-up plans?
JST: Yes, Colonel. I've just met with Spick and Spann. I think their plan will work out.
MPT: Fine, Lieutenant. May I speak with one of them?
JST: Standby, Colonel, I'll get Spick.
After several moments, the calm visage of the Vulcan appeared on the viewscreen. He addressed the Colonel.
SPK: I come to serve, Colonel.
MPT: I assume you understand the gravity of this operation?
SPK: The gravity of Hardassia Prime will not be a factor in your operation, Colonel.
MPT: Great! I'm glad to hear that. Once again, you and your partner are saving my butt! I really owe you, Spick.
SPK: Your emotional reaction is most unnecessary, Colonel. I will continue to "save your butt" as long as you possess those holographs of a certain Romulan woman and myself. This arrangement is most logical.
MPT: Sometimes you sound just like your brother, Spook.
SPK: Correction, Colonel. Spook is my half-brother. While Spook's mother was a welfare addict from Harlem, my mother was an illegal immigrant from Tijuana.
MPT: So noted.
SPK: If you will excuse me, Colonel, I must return to my previous duties. I was converting an old Hardassian ground vehicle into a low-rider and installing the likeness of a Terran canine with a wagging head.
MPT: Well, I'll report all of this to general Motars. Please return Lieutenant Broad to the viewer.
SPK: Live long,...and eat frijoles, Colonel.
When Justa Broad returned, she and the Colonel finalized the latest rescue plan.
In the courtroom of Mediator Shapiro, the case against Commander Krisko droned on.
SHP: Will the spectators stop droning! It's giving me a headache! There will be silence in this hall!
WNG: If it pleases the court, I would like to bring forth as my final witness, Gul Lattrek.
Gul Wingh's announcement was enough to stop the droning of the crowd. Gul Lattrek entered the hall with a grand flourish and was seated in the confessor's box. Gul Wingh addressed him.
WNG: For the record, Gul Lattrek, you interviewed the accused several times?
LTK: Yes, I did.
WNG: At what point did Commander Krisko confess?
LTK: The human never did confess, I'm afraid. Like most of his kind, he fears facing the retribution of his actions.
IBL: I object, your honor. My client is trained to withhold information considered vital to his superiors.
SHP: Your objection is noted but overruled! Gul Wingh, you may proceed.
LTK: If I may, your honor,...I offered Commander Krisko immunity from a court-martial by his superiors, but he rejected the deal.
WNG: With that, your honor, I have no further evidence to present.
SHP: Gul Ibble, do you have anything to say for your client?
IBL: I renew my petition for clemency on my client's behalf, your honor.
SHP: Your petition is again denied, Ibble! I, therefore, pronounce Commander Benjamin Krisko guilty of all charges and sentence him to die by hanging with the falling of the first and second moons.
Gul Ibble turned to the stoic-faced Commander and shrugged. As guards hustled Krisko back to his cell, he called over to his counsel.
KRS: Someone see if Samuel T. Cogley is still alive! If he is, retain him for my appeal!
IBL: Appeal? Not in Hardassian justice, my friend!
As they witnessed the three-ringed circus ending, Justa Broad and Miles O'Brother signaled back to the Marines. Since the trial ended quicker than expected, the insertion team would now have to make a rescue attempt at the execution site.
On the station, the video stream ended. A mixture of sorrow and anger filled the Ops room. Major Keepyer, after venting her own frustration, called for a clean up of the remnants of the sorrow/anger mixture, which was beginning to stain the carpets.
KPR: Dammit all to hell!! Where are Justa and Miles?
ODO: perhaps there's still time, Keepyer.
KPR: How much time, Odor? This is all going too fast!
ODO: If you ever had faith in the Prophets, now would be a good time to call it in. Don't you remember being a member of the Resistance? "Always have a Plan B," you used to tell me!
KPR: What's your point, Odor?
ODO: I don't know, Keepyer. It just sounded inspirational.
In his cell, Krisko pondered his now-limited future. As a show of good will on his captors' behalf, they permitted him to make contact with his family. After going through several delays, Krisko's viewscreen filled with the face of his son, Jerk.
JER: Dad? Is it true, they're going to hang you for going into the gasshole?
KRS: I'm afraid the Hardassians will try, son. But I want you to be brave about all of this.
JER: I'm trying, Dad. The guys on the station are really looking out for me.
KRS: (Sighing) I'm glad to hear that, Jerk.
JER: Yeah! And I even met a girl down at Quirk's Place!
KRS: Jerk,...I warned you about him! What kind of girl did you meet at his bar?
JER: A Dabo girl, Dad. Her name's S'Marti Panz.
KRS: A Dabo girl??? What,...what attracted you to someone like her?
JER: Dad,...you oughtta see the size of her dabos!
KRS: Uh, yeah. (Taking a deep breath) You know, Jerk, physical appearance shouldn't be your only guide to love.
JER: Yeah, I know,...but she writes poetry and she's hoping to go back to school on Majora once things settle down.
KRS: Nevertheless, Jerk, watch yourself.
JER: Aw, Dad, would you lighten up! I've already had a rotten day!
KRS: I'm sorry this trial has upset you, but,...
JER: I'm not even talking about that! When I got up this morning, my "Krispies" cereal started talking back when I poured on the lactose additive.
KRS: I think you should see Dr. Bashful about this delusional behavior, Jerk.
JER: Seriously, Dad! They said "Snap! Crackle! F**k you!" So I threw them back at the replicator!
KRS: Oh, no...my son: "The Cereal Killer!"
JER: Well,...Dad, my time's running out. So,.......I hope you get out of this!
KRS: I hope so, too, Jerk.
Wearily, Krisko turned away from the viewscreen.
Meanwhile, the Federation team regrouped at the Vulcan consulate. Justa conferred with Spick and Spann, the Vulcan strategists who helped clean up several of the Marines' past covert operations. O'Brother convened with Petty Officer Brooke and his insertion team, going over the layout of the execution site. Both Starfleet officers then reported back to the Deflated over subspace channels.
JST: As you know, Colonel, the trial went much quicker than we anticipated. They're getting the gallows ready as we speak.
MPT: Yes, Lieutenant Broad, we caught the Empire's video feed. All that court needed was a ring-master! Have you made any progress with our back-up plans?
JST: Yes, Colonel. I've just met with Spick and Spann. I think their plan will work out.
MPT: Fine, Lieutenant. May I speak with one of them?
JST: Standby, Colonel, I'll get Spick.
After several moments, the calm visage of the Vulcan appeared on the viewscreen. He addressed the Colonel.
SPK: I come to serve, Colonel.
MPT: I assume you understand the gravity of this operation?
SPK: The gravity of Hardassia Prime will not be a factor in your operation, Colonel.
MPT: Great! I'm glad to hear that. Once again, you and your partner are saving my butt! I really owe you, Spick.
SPK: Your emotional reaction is most unnecessary, Colonel. I will continue to "save your butt" as long as you possess those holographs of a certain Romulan woman and myself. This arrangement is most logical.
MPT: Sometimes you sound just like your brother, Spook.
SPK: Correction, Colonel. Spook is my half-brother. While Spook's mother was a welfare addict from Harlem, my mother was an illegal immigrant from Tijuana.
MPT: So noted.
SPK: If you will excuse me, Colonel, I must return to my previous duties. I was converting an old Hardassian ground vehicle into a low-rider and installing the likeness of a Terran canine with a wagging head.
MPT: Well, I'll report all of this to general Motars. Please return Lieutenant Broad to the viewer.
SPK: Live long,...and eat frijoles, Colonel.
When Justa Broad returned, she and the Colonel finalized the latest rescue plan.
posted by TheBitterAmerican at 9:18 PM
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