Deep Shit 69 - Chapter 6-2

Before Krisko could further protest, trumpets blared a great fanfare and all attention was turned to the podium. Mediator Shapiro entered with a flourish and seated herself on her high horse-leather chair. A court jester,...I mean, a court officer spoke:

CRT: All those having borne witness to this matter: step forward and you shall be heard. Presenting in the matter of the Empire versus Federation Commander Benjamin Krisko, her Imperial Mediator, Shapiro.

The mediator eyed Krisko skeptically and addressed him in icy tones.

SHP: Benjamin Krisko, you have been charged with treason and trespassing on Imperial territory. For this, we have found you guilty. We shall now decide on the manner of your transgression and pass sentence upon you.

As the hearing droned through the opening motions, Gul Droppings hailed the station.

DRP: Gul Droppings to Deep Ship's Station: Hail!
KPR: DS 69 to Droppings: Go to Hail! What do you want now?
DRP: You have bad news for me...I mean, I have good news for you: Commander Krisko's trial has begun.
KPR: But, but,...where's his counsel?
DRP: Krisko has been assigned counsel from the Hardassian Civilian pool. His name is Gul Ibble.
KPR: Gul Ibble?? That old cretin hasn't tried a case since the Occupation! He isn't qualified for this kind of trial!
DRP: The Justice Ministry made special...arrangements for Gul Ibble. Now, since you can't be there for Krisko's trial, I'd though it would be sporting of me to patch in to you the Hardassian video feed of his trial. Stand by on channel 1009.

With that, Droppings faded from view and the viewscreen shifted to a scene of a Hardassian courtroom. And at that courtroom, the perfunctory motions were over and the trial started.

SHP: I'll entertain an opening arguments from the counselors.

IBL: Well, you honor, I think schlemiel stew tastes better without yarmulke sauce! What say you, Gul Wingh?
WNG: I think yarmulke sauce enhances the flavor of the stew!
IBL: Does not!
WNG: Does so!
IBL: Does not!
WNG: Does so!
SHP: OK! Enough with the opening arguments! Let us commence with the case at hand.

It was now Gul Wingh's turn to put on a show. He stepped up and made the most of his moment in the spotlight.

WNG: Imperial Mediator, the Empire has charged this human with a number of crimes: among them are trespassing, treason by withholding information vital to the Empire, and not to mention - man's laughter!
KRS: Man's Laughter??
WNG: I said not to mention man's laughter!
IBL: I believe the counselor means "manslaughter," Mediator.
SHP: The court understands the charge, Gul Ibble. Having heard the charges, how does your client plead, Ibble?
IBL: My client, of course, pleads guilty, as charges. However, owing to extreme circumstances involving the Majoran gasshole and our truce with the Federation, I ask for leniency in Krisko's sentencing.
SHP: Given the gravity of the charges, my only recourse from the conventional sentence of death is life imprisonment and hard labor. However, I have imposed a cap on the population of the prisons and therefore there is no room for this criminal, That said, Gul Ibble, your plea is denied.

Ibble rose from his station to protest.

IBL: Mediator Shapiro, you mentioned the gravity of this case. I am not well versed in the laws of gravity and therefore plead for more time in this matter, so that the cause of justice may move more smoothly.
SHP: Your plea is again denied, Gul Ibble! Gul Wingh, you may call your first witness for the persecution.

As ther trial moved on, Major Keepyer, as well as both the Federation and Majoran Ops personnel looked on in anger. She cursed the Hardassians and prayed to the Prophets that the Deflated's mission be in time to save Krisko's life.

As the Deflated approached the Hardassian border, Colonel Moppett-DeFleur gave the orders to change the ship's identity.

MPT: Helmsman: punch up the cloaking device and enter the code on my command.
HLM: Aye, sir. Cloak is engaged.
MPT: Very good, son. Enter code SUX-2B-U.
HLM: Entering code SUX-2B-U, sir.
MPT: Proceed on course, helmsman.
HLM: Aye, sir. Proceeding on course 148, Mark 27, sir.
MPT: Let's pray to God this works out, men.
HLM: Aye, sir. Praying to God, sir.
MPT: Oh,...shut up, helmsman!
HLM: Aye, sir. Shutting up, sir.
MPT: Well, men,..and ladies, if all goes well, we should arrive at Hardassia Prime in approximately two and a half hours.

As luck would have it, the Deflated was able to pass several listening posts and security checkpoints and was making a beeline for Hardassia Prime. As the hour approached, the Colonel address the insertion team.

MPT: Lieutenant Broad and Mr. O'Brother, you'll use a shuttlecraft and land at the Vulcan consulate. We've arranged through channels to have you two pose as Federation observers to the trial. Once you get a bead on Krisko, you'll guide in the insertion team.
JST/MOB: Aye, sir.
MPT: Captain Recks, you shall lead the insertion team. Ensign Brooke shall take Ensigns Shiv, Dirk, and Bowie and slice a safe path to the courtroom for the Delta team.
RCK: Aye, sir.
MPT: The Deflated will stay back here to avoid visual contact with the Hardassian militia. All of you: keep in constant contact with each other and us. If any of you are captured, the Federation will disavow any knowledge of this escapade and leave you all out to dry. Understood?
ALL: Aye, sir.

Will the Deflated arrive in time? What chance does Krisko have with a counselor who doesn't know the laws of gravity? What the hell am I going to do with all these Christmas gift certificates? Tune in next time for more mind-numbing adventures!