Deep Shit 69 - Chapter 3-3

After what seemed an eternity, the vision of the Kai appeared on the viewscreen. She bowed deeply and addressed Krisko.

IMP: Great Emissary! My child, Handsof, tells me great news! You have communicated with the Prophets?
KRS: Well, Impala, not quite. We sent a science probe into the gasshole and now it appears someone has simply,..shut it off.
IMP: of course. Your science is not rooted in the faith and the Prophets do not wish to be disturbed in such a manner. They speak through the Tears. Have you received such messages from the Prophets?
KRS: Well, I...
JST: Kai Impala, the Emissary has indeed been contacted. He was invited into the gasshole.
KRS: Justa...
JST: (whispering) Play along with the old bat, Benjamin!
IMP: Then the Emissary must follow the wishes of the Prophets.

Before Krisko could answer, the Kai's image disappeared from the viewscreen. Krisko looked around the room and found the balance of the command crew staring at him.

KRS: What kind of "playing along" do you suggest, old man?
JST: The crystal sent you a message to enter the hole, so why not follow up on it?
KRS: Because the Majoran government would forbid it.
JST: Not anymore. You just got the blessing from the Kai herself to go ahead.
KRS: You're suggesting I take a runabout and enter something as unstable as that gasshole and shoot the breeze with the life forms on the other side?
JST: Sounds like as good an idea an any other. Besides, give me a few hours with the data we did receive and I'll have that gasshole timed better than a human menstrual cycle.
KRS: All right. O'Brother, have a runabout made ready in about two hours.
MOB: Aye, sir.

As O'Brother made preparations for the Genghis Khan and Justa pored over the probe's data, Krisko and Keepyer engaged in a lively debate.

KPR: Commander, do you realize what your actions will do to Federation-Majoran relations??
KRS: Well, for one thing, it'll give me a better understanding of your people.
KPR: You mean "feel out our weaknesses" don't you?
KRS: Quite the opposite, Major, I...
KPR: But you're strangers to us, Commander! We just rid of one occupying force and we aren't too eager to take on another!
KRS: We are not an occupying force here, Major!
KPR: You weren't at Beta Epsilon Vi, or Gamma Somalia, or the New Haitian colonies, either, but look how they turned out!

Before Krisko could reply, O'Brother announced that the runabout was ready for launch. Dr. Bashful had returned to the Ops to watch the launch. Justa briefed Krisko on her findings.

JST: What little information I got from the probe proved rather useful, Benjamin. The gasshole works on frequency harmonics.
MOB: Not unlike our docking approach sensors.
JST: Exactly. I programmed the appropriate frequencies into the docking procedure algorithm on the runabout. All you have to do is approach the gasshole like you'd approach a dock and start the program. If all goes well, you should enter the gasshole unscathed.
KRS: If all goes well?
JST: Arch'a je fai, Benjamin.
KRS: What??
BSH: She said "nothing's perfect," uh, sir.
JST: You know Shrillian?
BSH: Just something I...I've been studying up on, lately.
JST: I didn't know you were into foreign languages, Julius.
BSH: Well,...I've always had an ear for your tongue, Justa.
KRS: Can we save the romance for later in this plot? I've got a runabout to catch.

As Krisko made for the Ops lift, Justa approached for a private conversation.

JST: Benjamin, be careful out there.
KRS: Are you worried, old man?
JST: Of course, Ben. Do you remember Notta's last words to you?
KRS: "Careful where you point that phaser, the safety's off?"
JST: Exactly. Just remember it, OK?

With that, Krisko made his way to the runabout dock. At the airlock hatch, he noticed a brass spitoon by the lock's side. As he gave it a closer look, it melted and reformed into the recognizable shape of Odor. He approached Krisko.

KRS: Odor! Don't ever do that to me again!
ODO: Sorry, Commander, I was regenerating myself while waiting for you to arrive.
KRS: Yeah...I'd heard about that little parlor trick of yours.
ODO: I do not use it for a parlor trick, Commander. I was born that way.
KRS: Fine. Now why don't you ooze on down to Quirk's Place and annoy him for awhile?
ODO: But sir, I intend to accompany you on this little venture.
KRS: Not this time, Sheriff. I need to do this solo. Beside, the security of the station is your responsibility. If I don't return, you'll know what to do.
ODO: (sighing in resignation) Aye, sir. Good luck, sir.

With that, Krisko entered the runabout. After piloting the Genghis Khan out of dock, he sped off to the site of the gasshole and initiated the activation sequence. After a few moments of trepidation, the gasshole bloomed like a Majoran orchid and all sensors gave Krisko the green light to enter the hole.

As this happened, the station's sensors and klaxons began to wail, warning of the approach of a Hardassian armada.

What's this? Suspense on the Good Ship Valium? What good stuff will Krisko find in the hole? And what of those Hardassians?