Star Yecch! Wars Part 10

As the Away Team, accompanied by Ben, Luke and the Princess, re-materialized, Dildeaux and an honor guard greeted them. After the monetary transporter discomfort faded, Liyar stepped forward from the transporter pad. Dildeaux bowed and greeted her.

DLD: I am Captain Jean-Luc Dildeaux. On behalf of the Untied Federation of Planets and the crew of the Boobyprize, I offer my greeting, Princess Liyar.
LYR: We thank you, Captain.
DLD: Also, in light of recent events, I also offer my condolences on your loss.
LYR: I see the art of brown-nosing is not confined to the Empire; however, we accept your offer.

Taken aback by the thought of dealing with yet another Shrewish Princess, Dildeaux turned and greeted Luke and Ben with decidedly less formality. After the exchange of greetings, the group made for 10-Backwards for an informal debriefing over cocktails.

Once ensconced (hey, fancy terms for fancy people, OK?) in 10-Backwards, the Captain received a hail from Georgi down in Engineering.

LFT: Captain, I've got good news: the droids have been reassembled. Input and I think we can use their engineering techniques to help defuse this Genocide device.
DLD: Very good, Georgi! Send up the Princess' droid. I'm sure she's anxious to greet him.
LFT: Aye, sir. We'll be up shortly.
DLD: We'll be waiting, Georgi,...and don't call me "shortly."

Moments later, Georgi, Input, and both droids entered the lounge. Liyar was taken by surprise by the droid's appearance. It was now a small, human-like figure with a round chronometer for a head.

LYR: OU812, what happened to you??
TWK: Bidi-bidi! Gosh, I don't know any OU812! My name's Twiki.
DLD: Georgi,....!
LFT: I,..I,...
TWK: Bidi-bidi! Where's Buck? And Commander Deering? Is this a Draconian ship? It sure doesn't look like home!
DLD: Input, what about the other droid?
IPT: I, I, believe it has been properly repaired, sir.
IMR: Warning, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!! Dr. Smith is coming for you again and he's wearing a strap-on this time!
DLD: Georgi!! What the hell happened to them??
LFT: Well, sir,...we've been experiencing franchise crossover difficulties with the replicators, sir. This was the best we could re-assemble on such short notice, sir.

Giaboni, hearing this, made her way over from the bar to the crowd.

GIB: I did warn you, Captain. Now that copyrights have been infringed, this will only continue to escalate until you set things right.
DLD: SO you did, Giaboni. Georgi, I suggest you and Input belay that report and properly reconstruct these two right away!
LFT/IPT: Aye, sir.

The group moved on to a briefing with the remainder of the Boobyprize's senior staff. After Liyar relayed her experiences on Vader's ship, Dildeaux opened the group to suggestions.

IPT: If, perhaps, we had more detailed schematics of this "Genocide Star," we could, could formulate a method to enable the Resistance to disable it.
LYR: I'm sorry, Mr. Input, but all I have now are some sketchy memories of the operations board. I sent the orginal schematics along with OU812!
IPT: They were...lost in his reassembly.
DLD: Pity. Its a shame Trixxi transferred off during our first mission.
UPD: Yeah, I haven't gotten any since she left me.
DLD: Dammit, Number Two! Just for a change, could you think with your other semi-functioning organ?? If we had a telepath on board, perhaps he could read the Princess's mind.
UPD: Oh-h-h,...
BEN: Gentlemen,...perhaps we can yet accomplish this task.
UPD: Why? Does someone in the Orion slave-girl trade "owe-you-one?"
DLD: Dammit, Number Two!! Knock it off!
BEN: Alas, Commander Updike, no. That problem is beyond my purview. I mean that I know of a trader why may have access to smuggled Imperial technology.
DLD: Is he also in the Resistance?
BEN: No, Captain. he is a former Knight Master who lives in seclusion on a small swamp planet and does most of his dealings through contacts. He most likely does not know of the latest uprising.
UPD: Are you certain he can help me,...I mean, "us?"
BEN: I have not spoken with him in some years, but if anybody can get us these plans, he can. He is a superb merchandiser.
DLD: Very Well. Ben, if you can give me his location, I'll form another Away team to contact him.

Luke, who had been sitting back and quietly observing the goings-on, spoke up.

LUK: Uh,...Captain Dildo,...I'd like to go on that mission!
BEN: Luke, I don't think you should. This trip could be quite perilous.
LUK: But Ben,...this is what I've dreramed of for years! I want to make my mark in the Resistance!
DLD: Personally, Ben, I think this would be an excellent chance for Luke to get in some chops.
BEN: Hmmm. Perhaps you are right, Captain. I do sense in Luke a strange,...aura.
LYR: You mean "The Schwartz?"
BEN: No, Your Majesty. That would be a copyright violation. Perhaps, I believe, my friend will recognize this strength and hone his abilities.
DLD: (muttering) And maybe he'll get his ass shot off for mispronouncing my name!

After organizing the logistics, Luke, Barf, Ben and Liyar returned to Han's ship and made for the far-off planet.